So, I was sitting on my balcony: smoking, drinking beer, and reading Diego Gambetta’s Codes of the Underworld, when I hear someone yelling.
It’s my neighbor, two apartments over. She’s been locked out of her apartment, stuck on her balcony. Can I help her?
First, I go down the hall and see if her front door is open. No dice. Locked.
Second, I go down to the concierge to get the rental agent on duty to get the master key to open my neighbor’s door. That works — but the chain is on.
Third, I attempt to slip the chain through various means (with the rental agent there), to no avail. I suggest we call the super on duty to bring up some bolt-cutters.
Fourth, super on duty shows up without bolt-cutters. He decides it’s best to try to break the chain through main force. He gives it 2 or 3 tries with no joy.
Fifth, I suggest he go get some bolt-cutters and I’ll try to break the chain while he’s gone. He agrees.
Sixth, never underestimate a fat man with a knowledge of physics. One shoulder-slam, and the chain was broke. The engineer hadn’t taken two steps away yet.
“You’re strong,” he said.
“Not really,” I replied.
Seventh, neighbor is rescued from her balcony — the problem is that the locking mechanism on her sliding door was totally broken, and was usually set as unlocked. This time, it shifted to locked.
So, all is well, neighbor is rescued, and I feel a little bit like a superhero.
Weirdest thing to happen to me in a month.
Tags: batman, improvement, mental health, philosophy, reference, vitamin u, wtf?