The movie really highlighted Moore's problematic depiction of women in the GN, at least for me. I agree with your assessment - Laurie never realizes that she's still living the role given to her by other people in her life. Even more so in the movie than in the GN because we never get the discussion between her and Nite Owl about a new costume that is more protective than her lingerie-cum-superduds.
WRT the violence, I got the impression that Snyder was doing a little Deconstruction of his own, showing what real violence looks like. When Batman takes on a bunch of the Joker's goons in The Dark Knight, it's cartoonish - no real damage, just hit after hit and then the bad guys are lying on the floor groaning in pain. In Watchmen, we see what happens, what has to happen when two people have to beat off 10. It was profoundly disturbing, and I'm still flabbergasted at all the negative reviews I've seen that focus on having to see Blue CGI Billy Crudup Junk in the movie and never once mention the violence.